A Wolf Among the Sheep

I am a wolf among the sheep. But do I deserve to be in this place? Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. It doesn’t matter though. Deserve it or not, if I can take it I will. And yes, I do walk a path where success may seem unlikely and victory improbable. But if this journey were for everyone I would not want it. Victory and defeat come in many forms but failure only comes in surrender.

Using subjective boundaries to make things unnecessarily complicated serves only one purpose. A commitment to fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the cold, fear of being tested. Instead of walking into the darkness the sheep cower by the fire, clinging to the majority and creating reasons why it’s too hard, too tough. They spend their time constructing distractions and making up excuses. But these limitations and boundaries of others are not mine. And that’s the funny thing about personal boundaries. They really only exist where each of us individually place them. I place mine… behind me.

In reality, there is no hard and there is no easy. There is only the goal and the price that must be paid. The sheep’s eyes watch me, peering from the safety of the tree line, observing from a distance. Wondering just maybe, if they could possibly be brave enough to do what I do. All the while never realizing that they are already in the dark. It actually cannot be avoided. All that any of us really have control over, is how we confront it when it arrives, either on our terms or its terms. And it is indecision, frozen in fear, which allows the dark to consume without return as it desires.

There is a saying. The wolf need not concern itself with the opinions of the sheep. Those that cower by the flame and watch and admire are also the first to judge and criticize, to condemn. But listening to that rhetoric only serves to contradict the very spirit inside that gives the wolf power, its strength. Its ascent is menacing because it is not like everyone else. It dares to be different and that is threatening to the herd. And a wolf recognizes another wolf. They are drawn together to hunt as one pack. Mutual benefit is recognized in the pack. One wolf is no more important than another. And the wolf pretending it does not need the pack will soon be left behind, leaving it weaker than before.

There will always be points in my life where the cliffs rise above me, the forest hinders my way and others tell me no, that I’m wrong. Well that is perfect… perfect because this is my home, my unspoiled place. My “right now” that I revel in. Not a place of doubt but a place of passion. My promise to self to reach that summit unfolding before my very eyes as each second passes. This is my truth, this is my reality. Embracing what makes me different, not suppressing it. I fight for my separation from the herd by walking steadily into what most fight to avoid. I do this in pursuit of a return most only dare to dream of – the building of my worthy wolf pack.

As far as I’m concerned others can either do the same or spend their lives wishing that they did. This is the choice we all face. Sheep stay within the confines of what they know, angry at those who dare to venture out, who want more. Yet they are angrier at themselves for staying right where they are, avoiding the fight, even running from it. Wolves know this is all there is, one chance, one opportunity. And they mean to take it. You call me manipulative, or deceptive, or disingenuous? Fine with me. But before you pass judgement, look hard at your reflection and then ask yourself, what are you? Admitting to the truth of the question also defines you and places you. And then you have to live with it accordingly. Do you have the strength to walk the path of the wolf with me? The path of conflict and the path of growth, even among wolves themselves? Or are you better off in the shadow of the tree line just watching?