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Post by Forceuser on Aug 7, 2020 21:12:00 GMT
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Post by Forceuser on Aug 22, 2020 3:33:27 GMT
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Post by Forceuser on Aug 23, 2020 22:24:54 GMT
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Post by Forceuser on Aug 24, 2020 20:09:32 GMT
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Post by Forceuser on May 12, 2021 20:23:54 GMT
I am always on a journey in life to learn and grow.
I have realised now .
after going back and evaluating my life ever since I was a child.
I have been traumatised by things that have happened to me and others in my life .
as i grew up I have Been extremely afraid especially of men...
So I realised last year when I deleted a lot of my posts here on this site it was because of my insecurity of others knowing a few things about me.
Because when you open up your heart and mind it's easy to get hurt because you make yourself vulnerable.
And even in regard to tapping in to supernatural things at times. Most people don't even understand this but. I was afraid to Even express my experience . Even with the temple of the Jedi Order . Of course for the most part I was mocked and made fun of and I am surprised I was not kicked out. Not that it is important at this time in my life.
but I did feel when you use certain abilities other force users can pick up on it and they know and can feel it...
Even witches can pick up on the feelings and emotions so the key is to block it all off.
So to be clear I have no special abilities I am just a regular man trying to learn and grow and understand how to control the person that is on the other side of the mirror hidden from view.
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Post by Forceuser on Jun 17, 2021 1:13:40 GMT
I am continuing my journey and realising my life has been nothing but fear...
I have started my diet to lose weight to jump start Me Too. Later participating and more physical activities. It is challenging because I have cut out all sweets unless they're sugar free..
I have cut out weed also.. Yet I didn't realise so many things have wheat and sugar in them.
I have lost a couple pounds but I have plateau because it seems like I start to bench eat on other things like cheese And pistachios. I will continue my diet.
My career path is changing quickly because if my job looks like it's closing down... I'm having to work extremely hard on focusing on positive things About work. It looks like I have been very complacent. And always looking for security and stability instead of achievement....
I've also noticed my sleeping patterns over the years are terrible ...
Never sleeping more than 30 minutes and only sleeping for a handful of hours and of course how is waking up between 3 and 330....
Yet that is another goal of mine is to try to regulate my sleep better I think that is affecting the way I see things and My outlook on situations.....
I will continue my course as I do feel I am getting stronger mentally
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Post by Forceuser on Aug 31, 2021 20:20:33 GMT
When I was young I was taught We are to strive to be good and Patient. We are to fear and run away from darkness are we miss or what we learned was evil which is everything the opposite of that.....
No I seem to realize. If we strive only to become good that is truly unbalanced.
Now I realize wanting passions and desires And to learn to want more is natural even if you don't believe in it just one story in The Bible about the tree in the garden of Eden ... The serpent said if you eat of the tree you will become like the gods to know good and evil.....
Now it seems like we must learn learn Passion desires and all desires and knowledge that have been kept from us and this in turn will give us ultimate truth of what really is life.... That is truth
Not to fear it but To experience it and control it but not be consumed by it..
To this wonderful experience of life..
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Post by Forceuser on Dec 1, 2021 18:07:51 GMT
As my journey progresses in life I have to stop once in a while to ponder its purpos.
It seems like at least 3 purposes are 3 purposes are this
1. The mind coming to know itself.
2. The expression of all physical potentials in all its forms.
3. Is the progression and transformation through alchemy and the healing of one's mind and soul and spirit.
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Post by Forceuser on Jun 20, 2023 22:07:31 GMT
I am beginning to come to grip with my pas Childhood trauma. Now that I have found out they have a name for what I have.
Now I can move forward to overcome them..
It is a new day and I feel stronger in my soul.
Where I was broken and damaged now lies. The truth. Who I am or what happens to you does not Make who you are or your job does not define who you are.
I am at peace.
You do not have to strain and work harder to be better than others.
I must just be like a person floating in the river. Not paddling hard to Reach one side or the other but to just Float and feel the freedom
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Post by VixensVengeance on Jun 21, 2023 1:19:47 GMT
that sounds very Zen. May I ask what they have named that thing you have?
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Post by Forceuser on Jun 21, 2023 22:54:41 GMT
It makes it a little difficult when people label you.
And for me it's a little challenging because yes I had a very dramatic childhood growing up.
And no one taught me anything about witchcraft or Things like that I just had a lifetime of supernatural unexplainable. Things happened to me and around me and things I caused.
I try only to mention the things other people can verify or saw it happen
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Post by Forceuser on Aug 22, 2023 16:48:47 GMT
Life is getting better.
Between working full time.
And working on a few side projects.
I started to write notes on different chapters on a very short book. I would like to write and share to the world.
It is about how to overcome themselves and depression.
And I think more importantly would be to actually change one's belief system.
And the steps I have come up with that are Most people should be able to follow.
I will keep updating my journal periodically. I hope very soon one of my big side projects will come through in a week Or so....
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Post by VixensVengeance on Aug 24, 2023 4:30:11 GMT
I look forward to reading what you write!
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Post by Forceuser on Nov 4, 2023 16:42:17 GMT
Time keeps flying by
I have a few projects i'm working on at the same time. I don't know if that is good or it is better to just focus on one.
The short book I want to do to help others
I also would like to start a retreat for people in need at no cost.
I will call it the haven.
I think in about a year and a 1/2. I would like to start a martial arts dojo.
It will be quite different from the traditional martial ait will include mind, body, and spirit.
One night will be for physical training. Maybe the next night would be for mental trainingto uplift and strengthen everyone's mind to beleave. They are strong and capable of doing anything in life.
I've also for 5 years been working on a side project with someone It involves creating a large fund to fund any project. Related to start with.
I will keep moving forward and to try to bring a light to people in need for myself
I am still working on Processing emotions And my binge eating habits.
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Post by Forceuser on Apr 24, 2024 2:22:30 GMT
Things are going a little better. No I have started slowly training back in the martial arts. Of course, I am not in the same shapeI used to be.
2 of my sons are in Kung Fu. One would like to start his own schoolone day.
I think he will probably be ready in about two years we will see. He is a great kid. I am trying to teach him to be the humble Warrior to fight with all your might. But when you're appointment falls down and ask for help and water you must immediately stop take care of his needs. Give him water and. If later he is willing to fight again you must fight with all your might.
I have been working on 2 things.One will change my life and others around me forever.
The second is my job of building homes.
I'm trying to spend more time to focus on the here and now.
Because when I don'too much supernatural.Things happen around me.I think I must be drawn to it like a magnet I guess.
So most of my time is spent pushing that far far away.
Because at times it pulls me like a magnet.
I think about 6 months ago.People told me my mom died the year before.. I wonder if that is the reason last year. Things kept dropping around me. It was funny. I would be in the room with someone and in the middle of a room. Something would drop from about 3 feet off. The ground may be a penny, a dime. A rock a tool bet or a bottle cap.
At least I'm glad other people saw it.Because when it happens to me by myself.It's easy to chalk that up as delusional or crazy.
For now, I'm trying to do a few minutes meditation on believing positive things will happen in the future. I will keep a journal on how that goes.
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